[aggressively thinks about having sex with you while keeping a straight face]
things i need to do:
- clean my room
- get a college degree
- learn how to have healthy relationships
things i want to do:
- play with puppies and kittens
- find someone cute to cuddle and make out with
- drive to the ocean
things i actually am doing:
- taking subpar selfies
- running a semi successful blog
- listening to sad songs and watching too much netflix
"so how long have you been on tumblr"
*has war flashbacks to the introduction of WHAT IS AIR*
Minerva McGonagall never had children, but she helped first years find their way.
Minerva McGonagall never had children, but she pursed her lips in just the right way when second years tripped over each other in the halls—and escorted them to the Infirmary besides.
i feel like dating harry would involve a lot of “harry, no” and “don’t eat that you found that on the floor”
walk up in the club like “Harriet Jones, former Prime Minister”
that one kink that no one can ever know about ever
u know those friends that youre 110% happy being friends with but also if they ever asked you would definitely date them
zeus….. IS the father
*hera throws chair and has to be restrained by security titans*
That’s it. That’s Greek mythology.
WARNING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS BLOG CONTAINS ”ADULT LANGUAGE”!!!! PLEASE UNFOLLOW IF YOU CANNOT HANDLE WORDS SUCH AS, ‘BRIEFCASE’, ‘MORTGAGE’, ‘ECONOMY’ OR ‘OFFICE’
Dad jokes brought to you by Rick Grimes
This is one of my favorite posts because it never fails to make me laugh
People who have a superiority complex based on their enjoyment of vintage music or books are some of the most annoying people in the world and if I ever hear you ridiculing someone just because they may not enjoy listening to the beatles whilst reading to kill a mockingbird and sipping a cup of hibiscus green tea i will literally come to your house and staple your nipples to your elbows
I would sit in a parking lot with you at 2am