zeus….. IS the father
*hera throws chair and has to be restrained by security titans*
That’s it. That’s Greek mythology.
WARNING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS BLOG CONTAINS ”ADULT LANGUAGE”!!!! PLEASE UNFOLLOW IF YOU CANNOT HANDLE WORDS SUCH AS, ‘BRIEFCASE’, ‘MORTGAGE’, ‘ECONOMY’ OR ‘OFFICE’
Dad jokes brought to you by Rick Grimes
This is one of my favorite posts because it never fails to make me laugh
People who have a superiority complex based on their enjoyment of vintage music or books are some of the most annoying people in the world and if I ever hear you ridiculing someone just because they may not enjoy listening to the beatles whilst reading to kill a mockingbird and sipping a cup of hibiscus green tea i will literally come to your house and staple your nipples to your elbows
I would sit in a parking lot with you at 2am
Funny how we judge people by the beauty of their faces and bodies when we should be judging them by what’s inside; their spleens. I have a beautiful spleen please date me
stretch marks are really just a natural tattoo of the way the sun reflects on the ocean, and if you aint praising that you missing out.
when i was 14 my teacher made fun of my pimples in front of the whole class and my best friend was furious so whenever she saw the teacher she’s like “OH YOU GET NEW CRINKLES TODAY” “DID YOU LOSE WEIGHT COS APPARENTLY YOU DIDN’T” “HEY MA’AM IS THAT YOUR BUTT OR IS THAT YOUR BELLY THEY LOOK THE SAME” she got detention almost everyday even i told her to stop she still did it anyway if you dont know what golden friendship is this is
so i got tired walking to the library and my buddy isaac offered to carry my one direction bookbag the rest of the way
he’s a doll
We don’t need heterosexual awareness. We are very aware of the heteros. We are trying to forget. Please just let us forget
Apparently there was a group of Native Americans protesting the Cleveland Indian’s racist mascot, Chief Wahoo, outside Progressive Field before an Indians game, and this totally-not-racist fan (we know this because allegedly he stated he had Native friends) decided to confront them IN FULL RED FACE AND A CHEAP HEADDRESS.
Much respect for the man on the left for not killing that racist right then and there.
he should have snatched that off his head
"Your highness" is gender neutral.
So you know, if you’re ever confused about my pronouns.
alternatively, “your majesty,” “my liege,” and “supreme overlord”